Posted on May 19, 2025

My hand trembles when I approach the desktop, or just try picking up the pen. My mind drifts between worlds, staring in blankness. I've strayed too far from my core these past months. I believed all my passions were converging, aligning into a single, meaningful path. But now, they feel scattered, distant from each other, and from me. I poured all my energy into coding and building this place. It's been exciting and absorbing, but it also came at a cost. Now that I am here at the summit of my creation, I'm not sure how to proceed, how I should fill all of this.

I am unable to draw anything at all, unless I have a crystal-clear vision of what I want. I can’t bring myself to casually sketch a line just for the joy of it. And yet, at the same time, I feel like I’m on the verge of breaking through, of rediscovering how to simply enjoy the process again, like a child.

There’s so much I want to explore. I feel like I’m sitting on a goldmine of ideas and possibilities. But I can’t access their full value, not yet. A gap between my vision and my current skills is holding me back.

But what if the very pressure to leap into the bigger things is exactly what's stopping my progress? What if pride is keeping me from starting with small steps?